Adoptees have a story about their transition into their adoptive family and so too, do adoptive parents. It is not uncommon for adoptive parents to believe that fate brought the two of them together. It wasn’t random at all, it was meant to be. That is such a beautiful story and adds so much meaning and depth to the coming together of their family.
For the adoptee, that narrative that they are fated can also bring comfort and stability. But, where does that leave the story of what led them to be adoptable in the first place? Does that mean that it was fate that their birth mother couldn’t care for them and in some cases, abandoned them, completely severing any potential for an intimate relationship? Then, the meaning of the story of fate goes from feeling comforting and grounding to disillusioned and resigned.