Adoptive parents often tell me how much they love their teen despite the frequent friction in their relationship.  They wish that their son or daughter could love themselves as much as they are loved.  What adoptive parents need to remember is that it’s not about love for your teen, not yet, anyway.  It’s about respect.  If they don’t respect you, they won’t trust you and if they don’t trust you, love is just an option, not a given.