“In some ways you’re starting from scratch. When they were younger, it was about comfort and learning and structure. Now, it’s about preparing them for the future, for adult relationships and responsibilities, and staying connected for the long haul.” —– page 34

“The dynamic of rescuing in your relationship with your adopted teen can be powerful, nuanced and often problematic. Typically, rescuing refers to the act of saving someone (or something) from a dangerous or distressing situation. But for our purposes, it’s more than that. It is the potential dynamic in the relationship between adoptive parent and teen, in which adoptive parents tamper with or intervene in life experiences that cultivate the ability to adapt and cope with adversity.”—- page 49-50

“The path to young adulthood doesn’t begin with love. It begins with respect. When a teen tells me that they don’t respect their parents, I know that that’s where our work should begin.”—page 64