I was reading Beth O’Malley’s book titled, “Lifebooks – Creating A Treasure For The Adopted Child,” and I was so moved by it I wanted to share a few thoughts.
I often think about the quote, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to see it, did it really fall?” This is the question that adoptees face. Our story happened with no words and no witnesses. The lifebook is the next best thing. Of course, nothing can truly replace the losses associated with a family that never came to be, but there is another story to tell. It’s the story of the adoptive family, and unlike the birth story, has a beginning and many narratives to add along the way.
I didn’t have a lifebook growing up but I did have a photo album with all of the adoption documents, first picture on my arrival day, etc. I probably looked at that book once to twice a week and even showed my friends who came over. I wanted my friends to know “where I came from” and for me, that was what intimacy looked like.
Beth is right. Perfection is not the goal, but being in it together, is priceless and will serve you well down the line.