Once, a close friend and I were talking and she was talking about her friendship with a colleague. She was saying, “I don’t know what it is, she’s really nice and smart, but there’s something missing look at more info.” This is what therapists talk about in our spare time! Anyway, I think for for a minute and I say, “Do you learn anything from her? If you don’t learn anything from her, that might be the problem.” She pauses and says, “No, I really don’t.”
The friend that is right for you at the time of life that you’re in is the same as the therapist who is right for you. It is often not about their qualifications, or their degrees or even how many people recommended them, but about whether you can learn something from them. In good therapies, you learn, even if you can’t put words to it. And, I’ll add, more than friendship, it nudges, or pushes you, out of your comfort zone.