What does being adopted mean to you?
Being adopted is an evocative, meaningful experience that is often difficult to express. For some, it has become a central aspect of their identity. For others, it flies under the radar. For many, the meaning of being adopted evolves and shifts over time, often in surprising ways! It’s intertwined with other losses, traumas, relationships and life leaps. Adult adoptees can feel blindsided by the power of their feelings and daunted by the task of moving forward. They wonder, “Will it ever get any easier? And, if yes, what does that path look like?
Being an adoptive family is also complex. Just when adoptive parents think they understand their child, teen or young adult, everything changes! Like adoptees, adoptive parents may also be affected by the lack of information and break in continuity in parenting them, and safety issues, all of which can help to pave the way. The task of being an adoptive parent humbles even the seasoned parent, making it difficult to feel empowered.
I’ve been dedicated to helping adoptive families for 20 years. In an era of information overload, I bring clarity, insight and simple strategies to your questions, concerns and fears. As a psychotherapist and adoption specialist, I’ve seen hundreds of adoptees and parents. And, yes, I bring a lifetime of experience as an adoptee, which informs and enriches the work.
Parenting In The Eye of The Storm: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Navigating Teen Years
From The Book:
“In some ways you’re starting from scratch. When they were younger, it was about comfort and learning and structure. Now, it’s about preparing them for the future, for adult relationships and responsibilities, and staying connected for the long haul.” —– page 34
“The dynamic of rescuing in your relationship with your adopted teen can be powerful, nuanced and often problematic. Typically, rescuing refers to the act of saving someone (or something) from a dangerous or distressing situation. But for our purposes, it’s more than that. It is the potential dynamic in the relationship between adoptive parent and teen, in which adoptive parents tamper with or intervene in life experiences that cultivate the ability to adapt and cope with adversity.”—- page 49-50
“The path to young adulthood doesn’t begin with love. It begins with respect. When a teen tells me that they don’t respect their parents, I know that that’s where our work should begin.”—page 64